Al Bun-Day
by Homeydaclown
Summary: It's Labor Day again and Al is planning the annual family barbecue. But Peg has decided to invite over two new across the street neighbors. How will things go? Will Al like the new neighbors? This is the pilot for the future fic; 'Al & Friends'. Rated T. New OCs.


Al Bun-Day

 _ **It's that time of year again for the Bundy family. It's Labor Day and it's time for Al to grill his patented Bundy Burgers, but Peg has invited over some new neighbors to the cookout. Will Al like the new neighbors? Anyways, here's the boring disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or Married...with Children itself. Michael G. Moye, Ron Leavitt, & Fox own them. I only own the OCs. Married...with Children was taped in front of a live studio audience.**_

It was a warm late summer day in Chicago. There were plenty of tourists visiting the city and the highways were clogged. The Metra trains were full. The CTA buses were also full and then there was Al Bundy. He had just pulled into the driveway in his old Dodge. He gets out of the car and the audience applaudes for him. He notices a large moving truck across the street. He shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

"Time to go inside." he said to himself. "Why do I even bother to come home?"

The audience laughs as he walks into the house with a scowl on his face and looks at Peg & Kelly on the couch watching Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, The Doctors or some sort of spinoff of Oprah. The audience woos, & applaudes for them.

"Well, lazy gals. I'm home." he said.

Peg then turns to him.

"Hey, Al. You're home, I see?" she said in a smart alreck tone as the audience woos & laughs.

Al rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch, pushing both Kelly & Peg down to the side.

"Peg, shut up." Al said as the audience laughs. "It's time for ' _Al Bundy's Afternoon Story Tales'_ now. Time to get comfortable."

Then Kelly straightens herself and gets comfortable. The audience woos at her as Peg looks at her with wonder.

"Alright, daddy. I'm ready!" Kelly said with a dumb blonde smile on her face as the audience laughs.

"I know you are, pumpkin." Al said as the audience laughs. "So, anyways. A galaxy-sized woman rolls into the shoe store today and demanded a size three high heeled pump. The very same pumps that our new assistant; Lindsey wears. Matter of fact. She wanted the very same pumps that Lindsey was wearing. Lindsey then pointed to the door. The fat bitch gets offended and then slaps the taste out of my mouth."

The audience laughs as Kelly applauded from the story and Peg sighs & rolls her eyes.

"That was a great story, daddy!" Kelly said. "So, did everyone live happily ever after?"

"Well, for the most part, pumpkin." Al said. "But I still scream on the way home."

Then he sighs.

"Well, anyways. It's the Labor Day weekend." he said. "And you know what that means?"

"Oh no, Al. No another barbecue." Peg moans.

"Yes, Peg." Al started with a smile on his face. "A barbecue!"

"I hate the barbecues, Al." Peg nagged. "You always have me do all of the hard work and when I do something a little bit wrong. You would always drag me into the house and I would have to endure three brutal minutes of sex!"

"Ewww! Old people sex." Kelly said.

The audience laughs.

"Well, that's what you get for being so damn lazy, Peg." Al said. "I will be making my patented Bundy Burgers!"

"What? Again?" Peg asks as the audience laughs.

"Yes, Peg." Al said. "Again. You know, that making Bundy Burgers on Labor Day or as I call it; Al Bun-Day is a tradition for the Bundy family. Just like reading Big 'Uns or going to their website ."

"Or picking & scratching in front of everyone." Peg said snootily as the audience laughs. "Anyways, Al. We have brand new across the street neighbors."

"Yeah? So what?" Al asks as the audience laughs. "That means, another person's newspaper to swipe!"

The audience laughs.

"And I have invited them over for the barbecue." Peg said.

"What!? Why in the hell did you do that for, Peg!?" Al asks angrily. "I just wanted it to be us, Marcy, & Jefferson!"

"Well, they're new into the neighborhood." Peg started. "And I want to make new friends."

"Well, you have that chicken strip, Marcy." Al teased as he did a motion like a chicken and the audience laughs. "And you have Kelly. There! Those are two friends. Want even more friends? There's Dr. Phil. Dr. Oz. and all of those cackling bitches on The View, The Talk, & The Real. Then there are those doctors on that fake-ass Doctors show, all of them you can watch on that god-awful Oprah Channel. And there's Oprah herself!"

Peg rolls her eyes.

"Al. They're on tv." she said. "They can't talk back to me, when I say something to them."

"I wish that you didn't talk back to me, Peg." Al said dismissively as he shrugs his shoulders in disappointment. "But it looks like, that I'm not so lucky."

The audience laughs as Peg looked offended at him.

"Al. You stink!" she said as the audience laughs.

"Wash my underwear." Al said as the audience laughs. "Anyways, we're having this barbecue and Peg. You are going to do the hard work again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Whatever, Al." Peg said as she rolls her eyes.

Then Al turns to Kelly.

"Did you see what daddy did there, pumpkin?" he asks her.

"Sorry, daddy. I wasn't paying attention." said Kelly.

"Heh! Heh...of course you weren't." Al said sarcastically as the audience laughs. "Now, you two get lost and lemme have my private man-time."

Peg turns to Kelly.

"Come, Kelly. Let's go shopping!" she said. "Mommy has gotten herself a lifetime membership at Mack's."

"Goody! I love shopping there!" Kelly exclaims with a dumb smile.

So they both left the house as Al sits back on the couch and did his trademark move as he puts his right hand down his pants and turn the TV on with the remote. The audience woos & laughs at this.

* * *

 **Labor Day.**

It shows Peg working hard with setting up the chairs for the barbecue, while Al just sat there in a chair, drinking a beer. The audience woos & applaudes for him. Al turns to Peg with a smug smile on his face. Peg looks up at him disgusted.

"I hope, that you're enjoying watching me work my ass off, Al!" she sniffs.

"Shut up & scrub the bird crap off the chairs." Al said.

So Peg started to scrub the bird mess off of the chairs. Peg whines and complains as Al watches her with interest as he raises an eyebrow and the audience woos at Peg's sexy behind.

"Heh! Heh! Scrub harder." Al said.

Then Kelly walks into the scene carrying several paper bags.

"I'm back with the food from the D'Arcy's fridge!" she shouted.

"Good, Kelly." Al said as he stood up. "Good. Now set the groceries on the table over there."

Kelly does as she told and put the 'groceries' on the outdoor table. Al then turns to Peg still working off the bird shit off the chairs. He smiles widely. The audience woos & laughs at his reaction to his wife working hard. He quickly turns to Kelly.

"Kelly. You do know that the red-headed beast had invited over some new neighbors, right?" Al asks.

"Yes I do, daddy!" Kelly said. "Why do you ask? Do you want me to do that 'Not home trick', the very same trick that you do for the police, FBI, CIA, & IRS?"

The audience laughs as Al rolls his eyes in disgust.

"No, pumpkin." he said. "I want you to let them in and tell them, that we'll be right out in a few minutes!"

"Okay, daddy?" Kelly said even more confused than usual. "What are you going to do?"

"You know?" Al said as he ran over and grabs Peg's sexy ass. "Adult things!"

Kelly rolls her eyes as Al with Peg runs into the house to have their three minutes of pleasure. The audience woos & laughs.

It fades to five minutes later. Peg walks out with tattered clothing and sits down in a chair as Al walks out with a smug smile on his face. The rowdy audience woos & applaudes loudly.

"Well, Peg." Al started. "I really hoped you enjoyed that! There's more coming!"

Peg groans as she rolls her eyes. The audience laughs at her. Then Marcy & Jefferson suddenly walks in. The rowdy audience woos & applaudes for them. Marcy had a stern look on her face, like always as Jefferson had a tanning mirror and was tanning himself.

"Well, we're here for your toxic waste of a barbecue, 'Skunk Pits Al'." Marcy said as the audience laughs. "We didn't have any choice since, your intelligent offspring had decided to 'shop' at our kitchen again."

"Marcy. I've told you, that you should start locking the door." Jefferson said still tanning himself.

Marcy sharply turns to him with an annoyed look on her face and then slaps him so hard, that he spins in cartoon-like fashion. The audience laughs at this.

"Shut up, Missy!" Marcy said as the audience laughs. "Who wears the pants in this relationship!?"

"Apparently you, McNugget." Al said as the audience laughs.

"Hey, daddy. I thought Mrs. D'Arcy has gotten ran over by a 20 wheeler bus train thingy back on the fourth of July?" Kelly asks stupidly as the audience laughs at her stupidity. "Why is she doing still alive? I thought, Mr. D'Arcy would be stinkin' rich from off of her death."

Before Al and or Jefferson can reply to Kelly's well thought out question. Marcy butted in rudely.

"Well, the truck didn't run me over completely." she started. "It just ran over my head. And when the ambulance came to get me to take me to the hospital. It ran over my head too. Then with the best amazing medical science that a person like me be able to afford and a month and a half of pain & torture. I returned to full health!"

"That's good for you, Marcy." Peg said. "That's showing them!"

Then she turns to Al.

"Are we ready to start this thing, Al? I'm getting so hungry!"

"Well, hungry are ya?" Al asks. "Well, I'm going to start when the new across the street neighbors that you invited gets over here and when they come then I will start."

"Hello? Is anyone here?" asked an unfamiliar voice.

Peg notices the voice.

"We're in the back!" she shouted. "Come on back!"

Al sighs and rolls his eyes in disgust as the audience laughs.

"Oh no." he thought.

Then two very sexy females walk up. They had big breasts, slim perfect figures, sexy legs & feet. They were both brunettes, except one had some red in her hair. They were wearing tight shirts which showed off their hourglass midsections perfectly. Shorts which stopped halfway on their thighs. White socks. One of the girls was wearing black Nikes with white trim and white laces as the other girl was wearing white Sketches. The rowdy audience woos at the sexy sight of them as Al stared at the two girls.

"Oh my!" he said, but not too loud enough that Peg, Marcy, & Kelly didn't hear.

"God!" Jefferson said also not too loud enough for Marcy to hear.

"Hi!" greeted one of the girls. "We're here for the barbecue."

"We're the new across the street neighbors." said the second girl.

Al & Jefferson went over to them and took them by the hand and pulled them over to the outdoor table.

"Please. Please. Come over and take a seat." the two men said in unison as the audience laughs.

The two girls laugh at the two older men antics as they sat down at the outdoor table right next to Kelly.

"So, you're the new neighbors, huh?" Al asks.

"Yeah!" the first girl said. "I'm Sam Spears."

"And I'm Esméralda Judge." the second girl with the red streak through her black hair said as the rowdy audience woos from her sexy voice.

"Hello there." Al said all awe-stricken as the audience laughs. "I-I-I'm Al Bundy!"

"And I'm J-J-Jefferson D'Arcy!" Jefferson said.

"Al Bundy?" Sam asks. "I've heard of that name before."

"Me too." Esméralda said as she started thinking. "I've got it! He runs that female shoe store down at the New Market Mall!"

"Oh yeah! I remember getting some shoes down there." Sam started. "There's barely anyone shopping at the store anymore. I think, someone had said that there was some sort of smell in that store."

The audience laughs as Al grimaced and Jefferson turns to him.

"So, did you overflow the toilet again, old buddy?" he asks as the audience laughs.

"Shut up!" Al said in an annoyed tone as the audience laughs. Then he changes his expression as he looks at the two new neighbors. "That bad smell was the owner; Gary. She had just one of those spray tans."

The audience laughs.

"Al. Are we going to get started or not?" Peg nagged.

Al then turns to her.

"Don't be rude to our new neighbors, Peg." he said as he turns his attention back to Sam & Esméralda. "I hope you two girls don't mind, but I have to get ready for the barbecue. Pardon me."

Then Al walks back into the house as Peg rolls her eyes.

"Where's he going?" Sam asks.

Peg turns to her.

"He's getting ready to start the barbecue." she said.

"What?" Esméralda asks. "For real? I thought, that he was already ready."

"Just you wait." Kelly said.

It then cutsaway to Al in the kitchen. He sets down a black case on the kitchen table and opens it. It contains his barbecue gear. 'Bad to the Bone' starts playing. He puts on an apron that says; 'Kiss the cook. Kill the wife'. A chef's hat and a tool belt. Then he attaches a spatula, a barbecue fork, & tongs. Then he puts on an oven glove and he holds his hand up. The audience applaudes loudly.

"Let's cook." Al said as he goes back outside.

Everyone looks at him.

"So, are we going to eat now?" Esméralda asks.

"Not quite yet." Peg said as the audience laughs.

Al then clears his throat.

"Labor day. What does it mean to us? To answer that question, we head back." he said as he scratches his back with the barbecue fork and the audience laughs. "To earlier times. You see... while the cavewoman sat around getting fat, smoking cigarettes and watching Dr. Ahmed Show, the caveman braved the elements, risking his life and limb and the pre-historic beasts, with only the hair on his back for protection..."

Time passes by and everyone else was getting bored. The audience laughs at this.

"...In 1492, Columbus brought Labor Day to America..." Al continues as the audience laughs.

More time passes by. It shows the Bundys' dog; Butch lying on his back fast asleep as Marcy struggles to stay awake and Jefferson biting his nails.

"...and the women STILL did nothing! And that's what Labor Day means to me, dammit!" Al finishes.

The audience applaudes for him.

"May we eat now?" Sam asks.

"Not quite yet." Al said. "It's time for the national anthem."

The audience laughs as a short time passes. Everyone was standing to attention as Peg sings the Star Spangled Banner out of tune of course.

"...and the home of the brave." she sanged as the audience laughs & applaudes.

Al wipes a tear from his eye. Then he puts a patty on the spatula.

"And the burgers take the field." he said as he puts the first burger onto the grill. "In exactly eleven minutes and eleven seconds you're gonna sink your teeth into the best burger that they ever yanked out of a cow!"

"You make it sound so good." Sam said.

"Yeah! It sounds better than having fish!" Esméralda said.

Then both ladies glanced at each other. They started laughing loudly. The rowdy audience woos & laughs with them.

"Like any fish can be at a barbecue! HA! HA! HA!" they said. "Barbecues are for real meat & chicken! HA! HA! HA!"

"Yeah!" Kelly said. "You've gotta be a total dorky moron to bring fish to a barbecue! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Marcy looks on at the girls with an offended look as the audience laughs.

"Hey! I've brought fish over to one of your barbecues that one time!" she bitched.

"I know!" Kelly said. "That's why I said; dorky moron, Mrs. D'Arcy."

The audience laughs as everyone else laughs at Marcy's situation. Al hears them and smiles to himself.

"I like these new girls!" he said to himself. "They know what's right and know how to keep that chicken in check!"

The audience laughs.

* * *

 **10 minutes later.**

Al takes in the aroma of the first burgers as he takes them off the grill before handing them out to everyone. He takes a look at Butch.

"Here, Butch! Here boy!" he called to the German Sheppard. "Come get a burger!"

Then he tosses a burger to Butch and Butch starts eating it.

" _Mmmmmm! This is the best damn thing that I had in my fucking mouth all week!_ " Butch thought. " _Well, second to that bitch down the street!_ "

The rowdy audience woos & laughs as Al turns to Sam & Esméralda.

"So, girls. What do you want on your burgers?" he asks.

"I want bacon, cheese, barbecue sauce, mustard, & ketchup on mines." Sam said.

"And I want bacon, cheese, barbecue sauce, mustard, ketchup, onions & pickles on mines." Esméralda said. "That's the only way to have them!"

Al smiles as he starts making the burgers for the two ladies.

"Wow! They have great taste too!" he said as he finishes making the burgers for the two special guests. "Alright. Here are your burgers!"

Then he gives the two new neighbors their burgers and they started eating. Peg crosses her arms and had a dissatisfied look on her face.

"Al. What about the rest of us?" she asks. "We're hungry too."

"Alright. Alright." Al said. "Damn fucking red-headed hussy, always nagging, bitching, & complaining and always wanting to have sex all of the damn time."

The audience woos & laughs.

* * *

It cuts to sometime later. Everyone was eating their burgers. Al turns to everyone.

"Well, how are they?" he asks.

"They're delicious, daddy." Kelly said as she ate her burger.

"Mmmm mmm! These are the greatest, Al!" Jefferson said as he ate his burger.

"Peg?" Al said as he turns to Peg. "How are yours? Is it light and fluffy and it melts in your mouth or is it tough & chewy?"

The audience woos & laughs. Peg looks at him with a smirk.

"It was tough & chewy at first, Al." she started snidely. "Then it became light & fluffy after I chewed and chomped on it. Just like a certain someone, when we're in bed."

The rowdy audience woos & laughs as Al gives Peg a gritty shitty smirk.

"What does your jumbo jet of a mother eating your dad haves anything to do with this." he said as the audience woos & laughs.

Pegs rolls her eyes as Al turns to his attention to Marcy.

"Not that it matters but how is your burger, five piece meal special?" he asks as the audience laughs.

"This burger is not too bad." Marcy said as she eats her burger. "No too bad for a hairy, classless baboon."

The audience laughs as Al he rolls his eyes and turns to Sam & Esméralda.

"So, girls. How are the burgers?" he asks as he brightens up with a smile.

"They're really quite delicious, Mr. Bundy!" Sam said.

"Please, Sam. Call me Al." Al said as the audience laughs.

"Okay then." Sam said. "Well, these burgers are delicious, Al!"

"Yeah! They're almost on the same level as Sam's burgers!" Esméralda said as she eats her burger.

"Really?" Al asks as he raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Sam said. "I'm a famous Chef that works for a famous local restaurant!"

"For real?" Al asks.

Jefferson looks at her.

"Al! I know her!" he said. "Matter of fact. I know the both of them! She's Sam Spears. She's one of the famous chefs here in Chicago! And she's Esméralda Judge. The famous model for various magazines around the world! She also does commercials too!"

"Really?" Al asks as he turns to the two famous girls. "Is that true?"

"Yeah!" both Sam and Esméralda said in unison and the audience laughs.

"Well, what do you know about that?" Al said as he turns and gives Peg a smirk. "Looks like, we have two famous people living on our block."

Peg just snorted and rolls her eyes as Al turns his attention back to the two girls.

"So, what do you girls like? What is your bust size? How did you wind up buying the house across the street from us? Do you have any naked pictures of yourselves? What do you girls like to do? What's your phone number?" he asks as the audience laughs.

"Al! Don't be so disrespectful!" Peg nagged.

"Yeah! Be an actual human for a change!" Marcy shouted as her head goes up & down like a chicken and the audience laughs.

Kelly was looking at her.

"You know? She does look like a chicken when her head goes up & down like that." she said as the audience laughs.

" _Looks like, the last slutty horse finally makes it over the finish line._ " Butch thought as he panted and the audience laughs. " _I would applaud, but dogs can clap with their paws._ "

Both Sam & Esméralda laugh sexually as the audience woos & laughs.

"Well, we like to play foosball." Sam started. "Air hockey. Football. Poker. Street basketball and some baseball. Our bust sizes are 45C & 46D. They're real. We had a lot of money to buy the house. We do have sexy photos of us. We like to watch sports like; basketball & football. We don't like lame sports such as soccer. That shit's boring as fuck."

Al smiles and laughs a bit.

"Those are the same things that I like!" he said.

"We have a giant tub that we like to take baths in." Esméralda said. "Especially, after a long, long day from working hard at our jobs. We like to strip down to our bikinis and then relax in the tub!"

"Oh my!" Al said as the audience laughs. "Me too!"

"No you don't." Peg started. "All you like to do is; come in, complain about your day, demand some dinner, and then sit down on the couch and put your hand down your pants & watch TV or go online."

"Ignore the big red machine." Al said to Sam & Esméralda as the audience laughs. "So, who cooks dinner? What do you have for dinner?"

"I cook the dinner." Sam said. "I like to cook exquisite meals like; barbecue pork roast with a side of macaroni & cheese. Homemade fries and baked rolls. Sometimes; I like to cook T-bone steaks along with baked potatoes with butter, chives, you know? The works. Sometimes, I like to make pizzas and various of other things! And for dessert. I like to make chocolate cakes and or peach cobblers."

Al smiles widely as the audience laughs.

"How about you come over to my house with some of that food sometime." he started. "Because, Peg here doesn't believe in cooking. Matter of fact. She doesn't do anything, except watch tv."

"What does the girl do over there?" Esméralda asks as she pointed at Kelly.

"Kelly?" Al asks. "Well, I don't know really? All she ever does is watch Spongebob on tv and sleep with a lot of guys."

The audience laughs loudly and woos a bit as Kelly smiles.

"Yep! That's me." she said stupidly as the audience laughs.

"Too bad, she couldn't be bothered to improve her mind like Bud did." Al said.

"Who's Bud?" Sam asks.

"That's my son." Al said. "He's the only male Bundy ever to graduate college and went on to do more important things. He now haves a fancy apartment in Northern Chicago and haves a girlfriend."

"Awww. That's sweet." Esméralda said. "Do you ever visit him?"

"I used to." Al started. "But the building management had it up to me always taking my shoes off. I would always kill the plants & their Koi fish."

The audience laughs at this.

"So, anyways. Enough about me." Al started. "Tell me more about yourselves girls."

"Well, we always get season tickets to the Chicago Bulls games." Sam said.

"Yep!" Esméralda said. "There's nothing like sitting in the sky box of the United Center, feasting on some of the delicious treats!"

"Matter of fact. We just got our season tickets few days ago!" Sam said as she took out the Chicago Bulls season tickets folder.

The audience woos at this as Al smiles.

"Oh my!" he said. "Do you have season tickets to any other local sports? Like the Bears. The White Socks. The Blackhawks or the Cubs even?"

"We have season tickets for those teams." Sam said.

"Except for the Cubs." Esméralda said. "We can't stand the Cubs. They're always losing."

"And they're extremely overrated." Sam said.

Al then frowns to them not liking the Chicago Cubs his favorite home baseball team, but he then perked back up.

"So, back to the Chicago Bulls." he said. "So, do you girls sometimes go down by the courtside and or locker room and mingle with the sexy, hot cheerleaders & the players?"

"Yeah!" Sam said. "Even sometimes we would always get their autographs!"

"And sometimes. We would even get their addresses and phone numbers." Esméralda said sexually as the rowdy audience woos. "And I'm talking about the hot & sexy cheerleaders!"

Al then turns to Jefferson and they both started giggling like giddy schoolgirls. The audience laughs at this. Then they both regained their composure. Al turns back to the girls.

"I hope, that you two girls don't mind that me, Jefferson, or any of our friends can tag along with you two to any of those sports games, do ya?" he asks.

"We don't mind!" Sam said. "Matter of fact. I think, it will be fun!"

Al looks up into the sky as the audience laughs.

"Pinch me, god. I must be dreaming." he said. "OW!"

Peg had poked him with a fork. The audience laughs at this.

"Why in the hell you do that for!?" Al shouted.

"Because, you're spending too much time paying attention on those girls instead of me." Peg nagged.

"Well, they're better on the eyes than you are, dear." Al said as the audience laughs.

"Disgusting pig!" Marcy sniffs angrily from Al's antics as she turns to Sam & Esméralda. "You two ladies should be ashamed of yourselves! You're both whoring your bodies out to those hot, sweaty, muscular athletes every night, when you both should be studying a major and to make money for yourselves!"

"What are you? One of those fem nazi bitches?" Sam asks.

"She sounds like it, Sam." Esméralda said.

"I am a feminist, yes." Marcy started. "But a fem nazi, ha! No way. I just look after the concerns of women and how they're treated by chauvinist men that's all. I'm going to do my damnest to change you two girls' ways!"

"We hate fem nazis!" Sam shouted as she grabs a bottle of mustard.

She squirts the mustard into Marcy's eyes making Marcy scream & screech in pain. The audience woos loudly. Marcy then blindly tries to find something to throw at Sam for squirting mustard in her eyes. She picks up a plate and blindly tosses at Sam, but the plate ends up right in Kelly's face instead. The audience ooohs in suspense.

"MY FAVORITE SHIRT!" Kelly shouted angrily as she looks over at the still blind Marcy. "YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE SHIRT! TIME TO HURT FLAT CHESTED CHICKEN!"

Then she grabs some barbeque sauce and pours it over Marcy's head and then she slams a chair over Marcy's head. The audience woos & laughs as Esméralda grabs the barbeque sauce, ketchup, and some golf clubs. She started hitting Marcy with the golf clubs, making her scream in pain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Marcy hollers. "JEFFERSON! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THESE SLUTS!"

Jefferson then takes out his camera phone and starts recording the Marcy beating. The audience woos & laughs at this.

"Ha! Ha! Nice!" he said as the audience laughs.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DO SOMETHING USEFUL!" Marcy hollers. "HELP ME, PEG!"

Peg then turns to Al and then slaps him right across the face. The audience laughs at this. Al holds his face in pain.

"OW! Why in the hell did you do that for!?" he asks. "I didn't do anything!"

"Well, Marcy told me to help her." Peg said as she puts her hands on her hips and the audience laughs.

In response. Al pokes Peg in the booty with the barbecue fork hard.

"OWWWW!" Peg hollers in pain as the audience laughs.

Sam, Esméralda, & Kelly was beating the hell out of Marcy's lame ass. The rowdy audience hooted & hollered at this as the three girls beats up the older woman's ass. Esméralda picks up another chair and slams it against Marcy's head. The blow knocks Marcy unconscious. The audience woos & applaudes at this.

"Fucking fem nazi!" Sam sniffs as she gives Marcy's unconscious body a kick.

"No one tells us how to live our lives!" Esméralda sniffs as she spits at Marcy.

"And that's for ruining my favorite shirt!" Kelly said. "You're a bad neighbor chicken!"

The audience laughs as Sam & Esméralda drags Marcy's unconscious body off to the trash can and throws her into it.

"Fucking trash!" both new neighbor girls sniffs angrily.

Al was amazed by the actions of the new neighbors.

"Wow! You two girls know how to kick some ass!" he said.

Both Sam & Esméralda smiles and blushes slightly as the audience laughs.

"Thanks, Al!" they both said in unison. "Now, let's enjoy the rest of the barbeque, shall we?"

"Yes. Yes." Al said. "Let's!"

Then everyone straighten out everything and starts eating the food again.

* * *

 **Sometime later.**

Al was talking to Sam & Esméralda, while he was sitting down right next to them.

"That was some lesson that you taught that McNugget!" he laughs as he eats another Bundy burger. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"We have taken defense classes." both ladies said in unison. "And we also taken Martial Arts!"

"Ah! Nice!" Jefferson said. "There's nothing like a woman doing martial arts! She can do all sort of moves! Especially in bed!"

Esméralda takes a bite from her burger.

"Please, Al. Tell me." she said. "How do you get these burgers so delicious!?"

"Yes!" Sam said as she eats her Bundy burger. "Tell me what's your secret? I must know!"

Al laughs and then leans over to them.

"Well, I sneak over to the nudie bar a couple times a month in order to make it through life." he said as the audience laughs.

"No. For your burgers." Sam said.

"Oh!" Al said. "Well, the secrets in the ashes. You see, girls, I never clean my grill well, except for what happened back in 1989 when Peg purposely knocked over the grill and tried to replace the ashes with Marcy's dead aunt."

"You know all about that!?" Peg asks in surprise & shock.

Al then turns to her.

"Of course I do, Peg." he said as the audience laughs. "Bud & Steve told me all about it. After that mishap, I always keep the grill in the garage until the next barbecue."

Then he turns his attention back to Sam & Esméralda.

"Ever since Labor day 1990. I use ashes of the past for burgers of the future." Al concluded. "I hope, that answers your question."

"It sure does!" Sam said as she continues eating her burger. "Mmmmmmmmm!"

"Yeah!" Esméralda said as she continues eating. "Mmmmmmmm! This is some good shit!"

Al laughs.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Thanks, Esméralda!" he said. "So, do you have any young, hot, sexy, & beautiful friends coming over to your house?"

"Yeah!" both Sam & Esméralda said in unison as the audience woos rowdily. "We sure do!"

Al laughs as he turns to them.

"May I come over sometimes?" he asks as the rowdy audience woos & laughs.

Esméralda looks over at Sam as Sam was thinking about it.

"Should we have him over at our place, Sam?" she asks.

"Sure. Why not." Sam said.

"Steer-ike!" Al said as he smiles and did some sort of fist pump as the audience laughs.

Esméralda & Sam giggles softly at the aging shoe salesman's silly antics.

* * *

 **Couple of hours later.**

It was five minutes passed eleven and the Bundys, Jefferson, Sam, & Esméralda was having a great time when Sam looks at her watch.

"Dammit! It's five minutes after eleven!" she exclaims. "Time for us to hit the bed. We have to get up for work in the morning."

"God! Where has the time gone?" Esméralda asks as she stood up and stretches.

Kelly then looks around and then turns back to Esméralda.

"Time can't go anywhere." she said. "Because time don't have any legs. God! And they say that I'm stupid."

The audience laughs at her stupidity as Al turns to her.

"Alright, pumpkin. It's time for bed now." he said as he puts out the fire on the grill.

Kelly smiles stupidly as she & Butch goes into the house. Jefferson then stand up and stretches & yawns.

"Well, guys. It's time for me to turn in." he started. "I have a long day of tanning, getting face masks, & sitting back and relaxing tomorrow, while the stupid wife works at the bank."

He turns to Sam & Esméralda with a smile on his face.

"It's a pleasure meeting you two girls." he said. "Goodnight."

Then he looks at Al & Peg.

"Goodnight, Al. Goodnight, Peg."

Then he leaves the yard for the night.

"Goodnight, Mr. D'Arcy." both Sam & Esméralda said in unison.

Peg then stands up.

"Well, this has been fun." she said as she picks the paper plates, plastic sporks, & plastic cups. "Time to do the dishes."

Then she throws away the said items. The audience laughs at this.

"Whatever, Peg." Al said as he puts the top on the grill.

"Don't stay out too long, Al." Peg said. "You need to get to bed. You need to get up early, so you can push-start your old Dodge out to work in the morning."

"Whatever, bitch." Al said as the audience laughs.

Peg then turns to Sam & Esméralda.

"Thank you for coming over." she said. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Please come over again sometime."

Then she started to walk away, but then stop. She turns to the two girls.

"Oh. Bring food next time." she said as the audience laughs. "Goodnight."

Then she walks into the house as Sam & Esméralda stands up and started to stretch.

"Well, Al. This has been fun!" Sam said.

"Yeah!" Esméralda said. "We must do this again sometime!"

"I'm glad that you girls enjoyed yourselves at my barbecue!" Al said with a smile on his face. "I certainly enjoyed it, when you two girls handed your business and kick the living hell out of that stupid lame Marcy!"

"Thanks!" both girls said in unison as the audience woos & laughs.

Then Al takes both of the sexy ladies hands and kisses them. The audience woos from this action.

"It was a pleasure having you two over here today." he said. "Please come again."

"We will!" Sam & Esméralda said in unison as the audience laughs. "Come over to our house and we will play games!"

"Can't wait for that!" Al said.

Then the two sexy ladies leave for their house for the night as Al goes into the house to get ready for bed.

* * *

 **In the bedroom an hour & a half later.**

Al was in his PJs and he had just got done finishing his 'business' as he was carrying a couple of Big 'Uns magazines and had a self-satisfied smirk on his face. The audience woos & laughs. He looks over at Peg sleeping in the bed.

"Well, looks like I've took long enough, that she fell asleep waiting." Al thought. "Good! I don't feel like hearing her nag about how she didn't like me spending my time with the new hot & sexy neighbors. God! Those two new neighbor girls are so fucking sexy! I really needed to rub that one out!"

The audience laughs as he gets into the bed. Al puts the Big 'Uns on the bedside table, just in case he needs it to rub one out during the middle of the night. Then he turns off the light and then falls asleep. Peg then suddenly turns over to him.

"So, you think those new across the street girls are hotter & better than me, huh?" she said startling Al as the audience laughs.

"Uh, well Peg." Al stuttered as the audience laughs. "That is kind of the truth. Now leave me alone. Some of us need to get up and go to work in the morning. Good night. Or in my case. Bad night."

Then Al tries to go to sleep, but Peg wasn't going to let that end on a good note.

"AAAAAAAAAAAlllllll." she nagged loudly & annoyingly as the audience laughs. "We're not going to sleep tonight, until we talk about this."

Al, getting pissed from Peg's annoying loud nagging, turned on the bedside table lamp and took out a cinderblock attached to a chain and starts swinging it. The cinderblock hits Peg right in the face, knocking her out cold like a cucumber. The audience woos & laughs at this.

"Like I said earlier." Al said as he was putting away the homemade weapon of his as the audience laughs. "Conversation over. Night. Night, Peg."

Then he turns off the bedside table lamp and then goes to sleep. The audience applaudes long & loud as the credits rolls.

 _ **The End**_


End file.
